Dr. Erika’s Favorite Sexual Health & Pleasure Resources
Let's be honest, most of us didn't get the sex ed we deserved. Maybe you got a diagram of a fallopian tube and/or scrotum, a stern warning, and called it a day. I spend a lot of my time as an OB/GYN filling in the gaps nobody filled in for you, and over the years I've built a small library (and a long list of bookmarks) of resources I trust enough to hand to my own patients and friends. Below are some of my absolute favorites, the books that live on my nightstand and the websites I send people to when they DM me "is this normal?” Consider this your permission slip to get curious.
Favorite Reads
The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter, MD
One of my all time favorite sexual health books, The Vagina Bible is a comprehensive guide to understanding and maintaining vaginal health. Through a combination of scientific research, myth busting, and personal anecdotes, Gunter gives readers the knowledge and tools they need to make informed decisions about their bodies.
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD
Come As You Are is a comprehensive and accessible guide to women's sexuality, exploring the science behind desire, arousal, and orgasm. Nagoski dispels common myths and misconceptions about female sexuality and offers practical tools and insights to help women embrace their unique desires and build fulfilling sexual lives.
Sex Matters for Women by Sallie Foley, MSW, Sally A. Kope, MSW, and Dennis P. Sugrue, PhD
Sex Matters for Women focuses on helping women address common sexual difficulties and increase their sexual satisfaction. It's full of practical advice and exercises to improve communication, explore desire, and enhance intimacy in long term relationships.
The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides, PsyD
A comprehensive and humorous guide to sex and sexual health, The Guide to Getting It On covers everything from anatomy and sexual response to communication and consent. It offers practical advice and insight for people of all ages and experience levels who want to improve their sexual knowledge and experiences.
The Heart of Desire by Stella Resnick
The Heart of Desire dives into cultivating intimacy and desire in romantic relationships. Drawing on her experience as a clinical psychologist and sex therapist, Resnick offers practical tools and exercises to help couples overcome common obstacles to desire, deepen emotional connection, and improve sexual satisfaction.
Laid: Young People's Experiences with Sex in an Easy Access Culture
Edited by Shannon Boodram, Laid is a collection of personal essays from young people about their experiences with sex and relationships in the digital age. The book covers a range of topics including consent, communication, and navigating sexual and gender identities, offering candid and diverse perspectives on the challenges and opportunities of modern dating.
Because It Feels Good by Debby Herbenick, PhD
Because It Feels Good is a guide to sexual pleasure and satisfaction, covering everything from anatomy and sexual response to communication and relationship dynamics. It's full of practical advice and insight for individuals and couples, with exercises and activities to help you deepen your understanding of your own sexuality.
Faking It by Lux Alptraum
Faking It explores the concept of faking orgasms, both in the context of heterosexual relationships and beyond. The book delves into why people fake it, the impact it can have on relationships and sexual communication, and the cultural and societal factors that keep the practice so common.
Favorite Sites
O.school
O.school bills itself as the safest place to talk about sex online, and it delivers, offering shame free, pleasure focused education through live streaming and live chat with real sex educators. It's a great option if you learn best by asking questions in real time rather than reading alone.
Kinkly
Kinkly is a digital destination for adult sex ed, covering everything from sexual wellness to kink with a fun, judgment free tone. It's also home to one of the internet's largest sex term dictionaries, so it doubles as a handy glossary when you come across a word you've never heard before.
MiddlesexMD
Founded by an OB/GYN and menopause care specialist, MiddlesexMD is built specifically for women navigating sex during and after menopause. It offers clinically sound guidance on vaginal comfort, sensation, and intimacy, plus products designed with midlife bodies in mind.
Joan Price
Joan Price is a longtime advocate for ageless sexuality, and her site is a warm, straightforward resource on senior sex, proving that pleasure absolutely does not have an expiration date. Her books and blog tackle the challenges and joys of later life intimacy with humor and honesty.
Sex, Etc.
Sex, Etc. is written by teens, for teens, offering honest, accurate sexual health information on everything from consent to contraception to sexual orientation. It's a fantastic resource to share with the young people in your life, or with parents looking for a trustworthy way to start the conversation.
Amaze
Amaze uses fun, animated videos to teach kids and teens about puberty, relationships, and sexual health in an age appropriate way. It's a wonderful tool for parents and educators who want accurate information delivered without the awkwardness.
Keep Learning With Me
Consider this list a starting point, not the whole syllabus. Sexual health education is a lifelong project, and I'll take any excuse to keep the conversation going. Follow me on Instagram for more educational resources, myth busting, and the occasional overshare that reminds you your questions are normal. See you there.